How We Break

I think it's about time we got into the details of what EXACTLY it is that we do. Rob and I are, as you may have guessed, workout-ers. We have a goal to get rid of whatever it is that we find to be weak in ourselves and we're taking you along with us in our little escapade.

It's spring break for us, which to many may mean sunny beaches, hot girls, and self-induced stupidity, but for us it means brightly-lit computer monitors, Cloud Strife (I'm not a hater, he's just a pretty hot girl), and some self-induced laziness. I was definitely expecting to get as much of a "break" as possible from all the goings-on at school, working out included. But, being the dedicated people we are, we've decided to take advantage of a free one week membership at Xsport to satiate are iron-filled lust.

So, here is how we plan on breaking: Starting Monday, today, up until Friday, we are going to hit the gym and chisel away at our bodies. How we fair is yet to be seen, but if we stopped working out now, it would be like a fat kid that stopped eating cake. Fitty had it right. We may not be in love, but we definitely like what we got going.

Also: I mentioned earlier that there would be titillating pictures of ourselves in various positions. Fear not, your pants will be wet soon enough.

Peace,
Vin

Live Like You're Livin

It's been a while since we last met and it's about time we've spoken. Recently, I stopped being a "teen." At about a quarter of the way through my life, I can honestly say that I'm a scared shitless.

What is it that has my panties in a bunch? Is it that fact that I'm one year closer to the inevitable end of my existence? Or maybe it's that, in my 20 years of living, I really haven't done much in terms of contribution to society.

Sorry I lied. I was scared. I was afraid of leaving this world behind without having left some sort of mark on it, but then I talked to an extremely wise young woman (or maybe it was because I watched 27 Dresses for the first time... don't hate). With just a few words I was out. Out from the intimacy of the temptress known as fear. Because here's the deal: Whatever happens in the future, we're still living now. I shouldn't need to be on the verge of death to realize that I want to have Scarlett Johannson's babies or enter platform 9 and 3 quarters, or something just as simple as yelling at the top of your lungs for the hell of it after finishing a great workout without feeling the least bit awkward in getting death glares from all the other students outside.

I guess all I can say is this: Keep the future (your goals) in mind, but remember to LIVE while you're achieving them.

Still alive,
Vin

Buzzin'

Although somewhat intoxicated, I feel like I can properly discuss my feelings right now. Also, despite the fact that these letters seem jumbled and unreadable, I have a pretty decent hold on my thoughts and emotions. So, first of all, I'd just like to say: FUCK YES. Pardon my French, but Vinit and I are getting shit done here. This is what it's like to accomplish goals, and I have to say... it feels damn good. After a celebratory Bud Light, morale is high at the Robvin Hood estate. (Yeah, I have little idea what that means either). 

I'm not exactly sure how many people are following us, and frankly, I could care less. It's not that I don't care about our readers, but that's not the reason behind this blog. Popularity is insignificant. I believe that when we work hard, good things will come our way. Vinit's hitting those 3rd stack weights of 55 lbs. and up (joining the big dogs), and I'm at my lowest weight this year (185.7). Feels good... man.

This post doesn't really have a theme, motif, or even any useful advice (mostly because I'm drunk). In all seriousness though, don't give up. That's all I have for you right now. Just don't give up. We all have dreams, some of them more attainable than the others. It's whether or not we back down that truly shows our manliness (or womanliness) and dedication. Lift up your head, feel proud, and strive to accomplish whatever it is you seek. Five minutes ago, I felt like binging. Right now, I'm in control, focused, and ready for anything.

Join me.

Always your friend,

- Rob

*Sigh*

Well, for once, I've got nothing to talk about. More accurately, I've got nothing to say. I just don't have any excuses anymore. I averted a binge on Friday... only to succumb to it terribly on Saturday... It really just disgusts me, not just the fact that I ate like 9,000 calories over the span of about two to three hours, but the fact that it's controlling my life. I had a great workout in the morning with Vin and I wasn't too happy about my weight (190.5), but I sure wasn't about to ruin it even more by overeating. That's not even partially true... the idea of binging was on my mind since about Tuesday of this week, and I acted on it THREE times, each more disastrous than the last. I was so busy eating yesterday that I didn't notice a very important text message until 7:02. The text was about an urgent meeting I was supposed to attend... AT 7:00. Not only did I show up a half-hour late, I showed up bloated and dressed like a lesbian in sweatshirt and sweatpants. The cherry on top: I continued my binge after I got home from the event.

I'm ashamed, I feel guilty, and I feel like I've let a lot of people down: readers of this blog (if any), Vin, Jen, my fraternity brothers, and worst of all: myself. If I can't believe in myself, how can anyone else? The same concept applies: how can anyone love you, if you don't love yourself? Well, let me tell you. I hate myself. Not that I ever liked myself that much... I mean, I've always found flaws even in the best of times. Even at my most confident, I can point out something wrong: whether it be my hair, a random pimple, or my outstanding cleavage. Unfortunately, I'm all out of excuses this time. All I can do now is try to make it up to you... whoever "you" are. I went running for the first time in a while today, and I hope to continue the trend. Sweat, blood, tears... whatever it takes... no pain, no gain, baby.

Signing out, 

- Rob

AAAWWW YEAAAAAAH

I JUST PASSED MY  SECOND EVER 13-STEP SONG ON ITG!!!

MOTHERFUCKING.

INFERNOPLEX. (75.46%) !!!

WOOOOOOOO!!!

If you guys can't tell already, I fully endorse DDR and ITG both as amazing cardiovascular exercises. I'll take more about this at a later date, but right now I'm kind of jizzing all over the place in joy.

Keep dancin',
-Rob

Sweatin' the Small Stuff (Literally)

Yeah... you guessed it. I'm struggling. 

And when I say "struggling," I mean over-analyzing the crap out of little shit and taking massive dumps after going on breakfast food binging sprees. Pardon the potty mouth, but it's really starting to irritate me AND my bowels (last one, I swear). It happens time and time again: sweatin' the small stuff. Blowing things out of proportion is just what I do. To think, spring break is a mere week away and here I am, thinking about the possibility of indulging in several boxes of Oatmeal Creme Pies and an entire loaf of Irish soda bread. 

The weather's getting nicer, I'm getting my schoolwork done, but something keeps bothering me in the back of my head. Before, I thought getting girls involved in my life would solve all my problems. Unfortunately, I've unleashed a whole new realm of stress and sexual temptation; it doesn't help that I'm restricting masturbation (what is this? Day 26?). For all I know, the problems could mean nothing. Then again, they could mean something. Ignorance is bliss... if that's the case, shouldn't I be happy?

Screw it. Really. I shouldn't have to deal with this kind of bullshit. I've got goals to accomplish and minor details shouldn't get in the way. I'm sorry for being redundant, but these are the kind of problems that mess with my psyche on a daily basis. It's over. I've decided. I'm going to fix this problem. My mouth has been kept closed for a long time and I've kept my worries inside. Relationships are founded on trust and honesty. That's why I'm going to be straightforward. No bullshit, and more importantly, no massive binge shits.

With love,

-Rob

3 Questions You Should Have an Answer To (Before Starting your Committment)

Hey! Listen! (Zelda reference nub). Answer these questions below, then check yes or no if you like me. Go.

1) What do you want? Simple question and a simple answer, but without knowing exactly what it is you want to gain (or lose in our case), then it'll be very tough getting your ass off the couch and gettin busy. Ex: I want a six pack and no chubby cheeks.

2) How are you going to get there? Write it down, start a blog, tell someone about it, find a remote that fast forwards through time to a point where you are what you want to be in what seems to be at first a comedic atmosphere but later turns out to be a sad and tragic story, then wake up and realize you need to experience all of life and some things are worth more than others. Have a plan.

3) Is it worth it? Perhaps the deepest and most important question of all, but the answer is again simple. You are going to have to make sacrifices and you will struggle - do the ends justify the means? For us it was a hell yes, but some commitments are harder than others. Make sure you think about this one, because it's a loaded question. I never said to ask yourself "why are you committing?" because this one covers it.

Rob and I didn't sit down together and write down answers to all these questions. Hell, we didn't even ask ourselves them. We know what we want, we know how we are going to get there, and we know that in the end it will be worth it.The most important part is acting on it. E.g. Stop picturing me slathered in caramel, eat your first vegetable, ask the hottest girl in school on a date. They all seem impossible, but you won't get anywhere unless you try. So don't bother asking yourself when you're going to start. If you do that you'll have room for second thoughts. Just do it.

Do you like me?
Yes    More Yes

Peace,
Vin

Home Stretch

Hi, everyone. It's been a while since we last saw each other. I hope you've been working hard, as opposed to hardly working. For me, it's getting down to crunch-time. Unofficial was this Friday and for those of you unfamiliar with the holiday, let's just say it's the University of Illinois's biggest shit show of the year... and, yes, I did take several dumps (not to mention vomiting and passing out by four in the afternoon).

Nevertheless, spring break is less than two weeks away and I am heartily looking forward to it. I have to remember not to slack off, even though it's almost here. Not only that, but I have to make sure not to slack off during it as well. I've already had several fantasies about overeating and baking/cooking in general. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep it under control and not act like a complete walrus. Vinit and I are planning several activities for our week off that will hopefully motivate you and make the site a little stronger. We'll try out a local gym with a 7-day free pass, take part in some body fat testing, and finally, provide some pictures outlining our progress so far. Unfortunately, they're going to have to be non-nudes... (but shoot us an e-mail for a special copy.)

Overall, I think both of us are satisfied with the progress we've made. It was a bumpy road, definitely not easy, but we've come pretty far and it's starting to show. Keep your heads up and stay on the straight line (not that there's anything wrong with being homosexual, but you get my point). It's very important to finish strong, no matter how you started or where you're ending up. Don't slack off just because you're ALMOST there...

...because ALMOST doesn't count.

Good luck,

- Rob

Lucy, You've Got Some Splaining to Do

Now, I don't like the idea of having to explain something after I write it. But it's been brought to my attention that the last couple of posts I wrote were kind of "down." The last was about a death. Nuff said. The "fantastic" one was about not death. So, it wasn't meant to be sad or down. I like to think out loud when I write. And I like to write like I'm talking. I'm also not the greatest writer so I guess the sarcasm I tried using wasn't very effective. In terms of an analogy one might say it was more of a "shit on your face" rather than a mellow golden shower.

I believe that, as things with minds, people should generally think. The best way I do that is by questioning. And I ask you to do the same. Why are you here? Do you get off on the words of two youngins who really don't know much about life? Or are you looking for something more than just an erotic read? Either way, you've come to the write place, but what you get out of it when you leave will be something entirely different (minus an erection or two).

Now, I'm not going to explain the rest of what I was trying to get out of that post (mostly because you can probably think of something better), so.. yeah.

Peace,
Vin

  

Loss

Have you ever felt like there is absolutely nothing in your head? There are no thoughts to hear, just the ambient sounds of a computer fan or leaves rustling that enter my ears, dance around in the little hollow cavity in my head, then exit without much fuss. Earlier this morning I was getting ready for our final lift session before our first goal date. As I gathered my things to leave my dorm, I noticed a missed call on my phone. One of those quick, evil thoughts flashed through my mind. You know, the ones where when your parents are late from work the first thing that crosses your mind is the worst thing that could possibly happen. That's the thought I got.

What I've never actually wondered about is what would happen if those little shit thoughts actually came to life. How would I react? The creep that I am has obviously spent enough time thinking about situations such as these that I should at the very least be prepared for something like this. So, when I called back and found out the worst, I was about as prepared as I thought I would be.

Now, the person that passed is neither a close relative of mine, nor a person that I've said more than a few words to. She, though, has had a tremendous impact on the life of a close friend of mine. I'm not going to go into the details of either of their lives, but what I will say is that we have been aware that she's been dying for quite some time.

I got the call and nothing came to mind. I might have whispered something like, "I'm sorry" and then hung up. I had no idea what to do. How does one react during a situation like this? I always imagined myself tearing up and being angry at the world for some time. What kind of a person has to think about how to feel when someone passes? I, of course, am that person. The idea of having an actual living being no longer exist is so foreign and abstract to me that I still don't think I understand what happened.

She's gone forever and there is nothing I can do about it. They say death is the great leveler. It will take the richest king and the poorest peasant. In the end, nothing we do on this earth will change that. There was an episode of House where the cute doctor says something along the lines of, "when a person dies, someone should cry." This is me crying. The best I can do is say what I'm feeling. Veena, your aunt deserved better than a struggle with lung cancer and you deserved better than to have to watch her fade away. Now that it's over my heart goes out to you. May time do its job in healing this wound.

Rest in peace,
Vin

  

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Why are you here? I sit here and type away at this keyboard, writing down whatever garbage comes to mind and you sit there and what? Why should you give a shit about two douchebags who preach like they know something? You shouldn't.

The only things these two guys know about are what it's like to suck and what it's like to have things suck. And no, in their case when things suck, there's nothing to swallow. So who are these suckers kidding? How will anything change with their words?

Things don't change with words. You know where this is going: things only change when you're good looking. So until then I'll hide myself behind the light of this laptop monitor, writing about evil Thai chef wizards and pointless philosophical nothings. One day our lightning shaped scars will burn our foreheads and we'll destroy Voldemort. That day destiny will shit its pants and by then, you'll care.

Peace,
Vin

 

Of Goals and Diablo III

It's always important to remember that you won't always get what you want. Just because I have frequent wet dreams about Emma Watson doesn't mean that she's going to give me that handjob anytime soon. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?) I feel like most of my life has been spent waiting for something to happen. It feels like such a waste.... each day, spent waiting for the next. Thoughts like, "I can't wait for spring break," or "I'm going to cum SO HARD when Diablo III is released" invade my mind on a day-to-day basis. It's just not realistic (mostly because Diablo III will tickle me for eternity and never come out on time). Waiting around for something to happen is counterproductive. Don't get me wrong: it's good to have goals or plans for the future, but don't dwell on them too much.

Impossible goals are often the best kind. Well, I guess it depends how many boners you get until that time comes (pun not intended, until just now). Setting ridiculously high goals is a double-edged sword. Although it may act as motivation, the potentiality of not achieving them can deter you from what you actually plan on getting accomplished. I would love to look like Brad Pitt or Edward Norton. Is that realistic? Maybe, maybe not. If anything, it's far away from happening, but I know that if I keep that kind of body image in mind, it will motivate me to work harder. 

Life is filled with unexpected, unimaginable obstacles. These roadblocks often stand in the way of our goals, of our potential-self. I mean, sure, being a pedophile is a punishable offense, but if you like really young girls, you're going to have to push through and face the consequences. Now that you're offended, let me go ahead and suggest that maybe that wasn't the best example... We'll use my friend as an example. This friend of mine has pretty high fitness goals and wants to achieve a body that he's happy with. Unfortunately, girls keep interrupting his focus and screwing with his head in general. Often, failures with the opposite sex tend to lead to binging behavior, mostly through the use of food. (If you haven't figured out it's me yet, go take a bath with a toaster.) These obstacles may mess up my life for a short period of time, but they're inevitable. Everyone goes through their own shit. It's how we handle this hardship that truly defines us.

Remember: Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up.

Taking the good with the bad,

- Rob