Pardon My Excuses

Hello, there. I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?

No reply, huh? That's fine. I don't deserve it. Well, this is a little embarrassing... we haven't posted a blog entry since the 22nd of March. See, the thing is, I was actually abducted by aliens, descriptively calling themselves "Purple People Eaters." After narrowly escaping yet another anal probing, I found myself lost in amidst the space-time continuum, finally arriving here yesterday with a sore rectum and clouded memory.

Ok, you got me. I lied. There's no other reason for my laziness other than... well, laziness. However, aside from my anal-inserting tale of abduction, things haven't been too bad. Keep in mind that just because we haven't been posting doesn't mean we haven't been working out. We've been losing weight, lifting weights, and keeping a decent overall fitness level. It hasn't been easy: finals, food, formals, fraternities, fornicating (I wish)... Despite my optimistic alliteration, I'm not too happy with our progress.

Let's talk numbers for a quick second: 

January 2008: 252 lbs.

Summer 2009: 202.3 lbs.

After coming back from winter break: 212.5 lbs.

Before spring break: 185.9 lbs.

After spring break: 201.4 lbs.

Yesterday: 189.1 lbs.

Conclusion: breaks kick my ass.

Now, this is a problem because summer starts in exactly a week for me. At the same time, I leave for Europe on May 26th. My goal is to be seated on that plane at 180lbs. or less. My other goal is to have intense sexual intercourse with Ellen Page. Seeing as the latter is a bit unattainable, I've got about nine pounds to lose. Keeping the Will Smith movie references at bay, it's crunch time (Side note: bunch-a-crunch is delicious. Remember those?) for both my weight loss and my academic progress. I've got finals to study for, papers to write, and hands to keep OUT of my pants. 

That's about all I have for now... Oh, but before I forget, I want to thank everyone that pays any remote attention to this blog, especially one reader that persuaded me to write again. This post is dedicated to you (no homo... okay, maybe a little homo, actually: homo foshomo). 

Respectfully submitted,

- Rob