*Sigh*

Well, for once, I've got nothing to talk about. More accurately, I've got nothing to say. I just don't have any excuses anymore. I averted a binge on Friday... only to succumb to it terribly on Saturday... It really just disgusts me, not just the fact that I ate like 9,000 calories over the span of about two to three hours, but the fact that it's controlling my life. I had a great workout in the morning with Vin and I wasn't too happy about my weight (190.5), but I sure wasn't about to ruin it even more by overeating. That's not even partially true... the idea of binging was on my mind since about Tuesday of this week, and I acted on it THREE times, each more disastrous than the last. I was so busy eating yesterday that I didn't notice a very important text message until 7:02. The text was about an urgent meeting I was supposed to attend... AT 7:00. Not only did I show up a half-hour late, I showed up bloated and dressed like a lesbian in sweatshirt and sweatpants. The cherry on top: I continued my binge after I got home from the event.

I'm ashamed, I feel guilty, and I feel like I've let a lot of people down: readers of this blog (if any), Vin, Jen, my fraternity brothers, and worst of all: myself. If I can't believe in myself, how can anyone else? The same concept applies: how can anyone love you, if you don't love yourself? Well, let me tell you. I hate myself. Not that I ever liked myself that much... I mean, I've always found flaws even in the best of times. Even at my most confident, I can point out something wrong: whether it be my hair, a random pimple, or my outstanding cleavage. Unfortunately, I'm all out of excuses this time. All I can do now is try to make it up to you... whoever "you" are. I went running for the first time in a while today, and I hope to continue the trend. Sweat, blood, tears... whatever it takes... no pain, no gain, baby.

Signing out, 

- Rob